Merry's dog products wish list by Merry McKaig
[Editor's Note: As many of you know, Merry is a diva pug. She's also a greedy little diva pug who, if we let her, would have asked Santa for the entire contents of the Pampered Puppy store, and more besides. However, we've tried to limit her to 50 products, reminding her once again that there are lots of other little boy and girl pampered puppies out there who just aren't as fortunate, so it's not seemly to be so greedy. She sniffed, snorted, and toddled over to her Chinese box bed in disgust at this news.]
How are you? I realize it has been several weeks since you've heard from me, but diva pugs these days - particularly those of my calibre, you understand - are in great demand for shopping, napping, photo shoots, chasing the ball... why, I work so hard, it's hard to imagine how I manage to get my beauty rest 12 hours a day.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Well, as you know, I've sent you several letters already this year, but those are to be considered drafts or alternate wishes only. Particularly once my warden (codenamed Mommy) put her foot down about a 50 product limit, it forced me to rethink my entire holiday gift acceptance plan. Not an easy thing to do after eleven months of planning (sigh), but what can I say... the woman has no idea the amount of work this creates for me at the last minute.
Please accept this new letter as my final draft. (My Mommy made me say that - you can still bring me the other stuff if you want!)
Where to start? Well, with my wardrobe, perhaps - it's getting terribly tacky around the edges. It's been three whole weeks since I received any new clothing, and that's just not acceptable. So here's what you can bring for me:
I'm dying for a new winter coat (how can any pug live with only 6 winter coats, I ask you?), and I think the Embroidered Shearling and Leather Dog Coat would be a perfect coat for me... very regal. You have to look the part, you know. And the Greek Key 3/4" Dog Collar would work perfectly with it, I think... or the Tuscany 1 1/2" Dog Collar. Your choice. If you find it simply too difficult to choose, please bring both. Needless to say, I will also need a pair of Classic Black Lily Boots to complete the outfit. I require a size 5. I think you have my other sizes already; if not, I'll send them as an attachment to this mail.
For warmer winter days, you may also bring the Manhattan Dog Coat. The faux fur collar would look simply fabulous with my figure. Since I must always have matching collars, I think the Black American Alligator Collar would do wonders. I love the Cognac, after all, and it's worked well for me. An alternative choice would be the Grommet Leather Collar. Again, if you have trouble deciding, just bring me both. I think the black would look smashing on me. Don't you agree?
Also for warmer winter days (I need some choice, here - can't just have one option) I would also like you to bring a Mink Vest. Pink is so very charming with my complexion, and it is always - always - about the pink. Of course this would also require a pair of Playful Pink Lily Boots, to match (and frankly, I already have one pink coat without the matching pink boots. We just cannot let this continue!). For a matching collar, you may bring either one or both colors of the Crystal Confetti Cotton Candy Dog Collar. Not the light colored one - it's far too light with my complexion, and to match the coat. I need one of the two styles with the hot pink, to complement the vest properly.
As the weather starts warming up, I'm going to need some new sweaters and lighter coats for spring. An urban girl such as myself simply cannot live any longer without a Tangerine Wool Knit Sweater; they're simply too, too urban for me not to have in my wardrobe. A matching Tangerine Dazzling Bones Collar & Leash set should work perfectly to create a properly matched outfit.
For some newer pink items to refresh my spring wardrobe, I simply cannot live without the Princess Letter Jacket and Pink Dog Sweater with the too-adorable blue star on the back. The Hollywood Dog Shirt would also be a lovely addition to my wardrobe; again, you just have to look the part, don't you? After all, I have my leagues of fans to consider in all this. For a matching leash, I've fallen head-over-paws with the new Playboy Bunny Glam collar and leash set. Please bring at least one of those to go with the new pink outfits.
No spring wardrobe is complete without a denim jacket; I've decided that the Bling Bling Denim Lambswool Jacket is perfect for me; however, please remember I'm a girl, not a "stud", so please ensure the elves switch the letters to read either "Merry" or "Diva"; a rhinestone bone at the end is perfectly acceptable. An acceptable matching collar and lead would be the Animal Print Hair-on Collar (and matching lead) in the blue.
I've also been thinking that I need to incorporate a bit more color into my wardrobe other than pink - don't get me wrong, Santa, pink will always be my signature color, but as a trendsetter other dogs look to me to show off hot colors. So, I have two suggestions for you:
1. The Lambswool Woof Baby Sweater in blue. Preferably paired with a baby blue collar from the Simply Bones Collar Collection (again, with matching lead, please).
2. A Tonal Stripe Turtleneck Sweater in lime green. Which would, if I do say so myself, look absolutely smashing with a Lime Dazzling Bones Collar & Leash.
For casual days playing at the park with the warden... er, Mommy, a Red No. 5 Hooded Sweatshirt from Puppia would work well (their designs are so to die for). This would give you a perfect excuse to bring along a Grommet Leather Collar in red, as well. Not to mention the fact that it would also work spectacularly with the Red #9 Hooded Sporty Tee and Duffle Trench Coat I'd like (although, for the latter, the tan would be an acceptable choice as well).
While I'm not much of a heavy-duty jewelry girl these days (alas, my haircut is just too short for the stunning rhinestone jewels I'm always seeing), I will admit I'd just flip head over tail for a Marilyn Monroe Dog Collar. Seriously, Santa, how perfect is this collar for me? Have you ever known another dog to suit something this glamorous as perfectly as I do?
And while we're on the subject of jewelry Santa, I asked BOTH you and Mommy last year for the White Gold Pave Diamond Bone Charm (white gold, obviously, since yellow gold is just. so. last. year.) but since I didn't receive it, I'm forced to believe that you two just don't love me enough. I mean honestly, what's a princess pug gotta do around here to get some diamonds?
A girl also needs a place to eat. Never mind the bowls and feeders I have already. I'm a diva dog. I need new dishes from which to gobble... that is to say, my palate needs cleansing from time to time. The Vintage Pink Princess Diner would work perfectly in my mommy's office, which is all pink and white (as a diva pug, I'm honor bound to ensure my accessories don't clash too terribly with the warden's decor).
However, my mommy's taste in decor aside, I simply want the Rare Earth Evolution 1 AND the Alligator Elegant Fossil Stone Feeder. Yes, I realize that is more bowls than I have paws. It matters not. The important thing is to eat off the finest bowls in the world. These are the ones I want, Santa, and the warden can just find somewhere to put it all. What do I care? I only take up a teeny amount of space anyway. What's wrong with taking up a bit more with a few teeny tiny feeders? Don't you agree?
Incidentally, my treats (you do remember me continuously asking for Truffle Carob Sweet Treats, Carob Chip Soft Treats and Pink n White Starburst Treats, don't you? You haven't forgotten, have you?) would never be better stored than in the Queen Treat Canister. Finally, something that actually befits my status.
For my daily beauty regimen, I really do need more of the Hemp Shampoo Bars you brought a while back. Please bring more. And perhaps a Medium Bristle Double Wide Brush while you're at it. Must keep the coat silky smooth, as you know. I have fans and friends to impress.
I realize I already have too, too many beds; however, that doesn't mean I don't need another. Again, it's a fashion thing. We are all slaves to fashion, darling (well, perhaps except for you - how DO you manage with the same suit, over and over, year after year?). An excellent new daybed would be a Leopard Lounger. But for overnight, I need something that allows me to sleep undisturbed - the rhinestone and silk sleep mask can only block out so much. I've decided that the Marie Antoinette in Walnut Luxury Dog Bed would be the perfect solution to this problem. This may be tough to fit down the chimney [Ed. -- particularly since you don't have one] so feel free to express ship it to me just after the holidays. I'm not without reason, as you know.
The reindeer probably remember all too well my playful side - I'm all about the playing, have to keep that girlish figure you know! I've been in love with the Jet Set Pet New York collection for simply age. You really must bring all three of them. How perfect for a city girl like myself! And please, please have the elves make up some more Hol-ee Roller balls for me; the six or seven others I have right now are starting to look quite tacky. Why run when you can fetch, am I right, Santa?
And finally, I could really use a few new holiday items to make Christmas day special. Particularly since, as you know, I was named for the holiday! Please bring a Holiday Star Tree Toy so that my playtime can be at its aesthetically pleasing best. (I bet I'm the only pug who writes aesthetically pleasing in their letters to you, aren't I? See how special I am?) A Christmas Party Collar with Jingle Bells would be a perfect holiday outfit, cheery and bright while still allowing me lots of room for movement. I play with Grandpa pretty much continuously on Christmas Day, you know. A girl has to be able to run.
I simply cannot imagine eating my gourmet Christmas dinner from any other bowl than the Medium Christmas Holly Pet Dish. However, please ensure the elves pack two of them; nothing tackier than having mismatched bowls at my place setting, and my cranberry juice is a must on Christmas day. A matching Customized Feeding Bowl Tree Ornament would be a perfect complement and give Mommy something to remember me by. I'm so quiet and undemanding all year round, I think she may need the reminder!
While we're on that subject, can your elves manufacture time? I would love to spend more time playing with my Mommy but she's always so busy working that it can require some creative dogginess to get her attention.
And just like all the other beauty pageant contestants, I would also like world peace. If you have time. Oh! And a little brother or sister to play with. As long as they come with their own wardrobe. A diva should never have to share.
Kisses to Mrs. Claus and the Elves. Please remind Rudolph I'm sorry for that barking confusion last year - I really was just trying to play with him.